Things Asians Do

When Asians get together, the subject of drinking is frequently brought up during conversations. Usually this involves a recap of the most recent outing at a club (predominantly Asian) and discussions about who was dancing with whom, how hot the go-go dancers were, and who was the most drunk out of the group.

How do Asians gauge their level of drunkenness? Besides the universal sign of hitting on less-than-good looking members of the opposite sex, Asians have their own race-specific telltale of showing significant redness of the face. Something along the lines of “You’re face was really red last Saturday at the club, were you really that gone?” is inevitably said by one Asian to another during the discussion about the night out.

At this point, the one Asian in the group who does not get red-faced at all while drinking will proudly exclaim -“I never get red when drinking” implying that the non-redness is evidence of genetic superiority or the product of dedicated effort to develop a tolerance. Then the other Asians will tacitly acknowledge his superiority with questions about whether he drank a lot in college, has the anecdotal alcohol absorbing enzyme, or is part-white.