4) Not being attracted to Black women

April 9, 2008 at 6:54 pm | Posted in Preferences | 41 Comments

(A typical Thursday night at the apartment – Beyonce’s newest music video appears on the television in the living room)
Asian male #1: “Do you think Beyonce is hot?”
Asian male #2: “No, not really. I mean, I can see how she is pretty, but I’m just not attracted to her, you know?”
Asian male #1: “Yeah, I know what you mean, I’m the same. She has a great body and nice face, but I don’t really feel it. What about Tyra Banks?”
Asian male #2: “Ugh! Not at all. The face does not do it for me.”
Asian male #1: “Maybe we’re genetically wired just to find Asian and White women attractive?”
Asian male # 2: “Perhaps. Let’s go watch The Scorpion King. I can never get enough of Kelly Hu.”

It is a universal rule that Asian males cannot be attracted to Black women. There are two theories explaining this phenomenon. The first is that Asian males are not exposed to Black girls during middle and high school, and therefore do not have the experience to properly appreciate the beauty of Black women. The second, and probably more credible theory, is that Black women rarely find Asian males attractive, and thus it is a simple case of Asian males preferring women that they have a non-zero probability of obtaining, which is the efficient use of their dating effort.

This is an extremely touchy subject to broach around Asian males. However, to defuse the potentially ruinous consequences of the subject, just say that you really liked the movie Romeo Must Die and that Aaliyah was great in it. This serves as a reminder that there are Black women that find Asian men attractive. However, to obtain relationships with them requires successful life-saving situations using martial arts.



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  1. this website is genius. i really like your writing style. hahah.

    in the movie do they ever kiss or anything? isn’t it just a bunch of implied sexual tension?… if so, that would further go to show you that even with life saving martial arts it’s still not feasible, even in a fictional setting..

  2. thanks, glad you like it.

    no, they do not kiss or anything, just a lot of flirty banter and a hug at the end. A hong kong superstar could not even get the job done.

  3. What about a korean or a japanese super star? Could they get the job done? And if life saving martial arts was replaced by seductive dancing, would that make a difference?

  4. theoretically yes, it could happen. however, since there are no precedents, we are in the same position as the world before the 4-minute mile, atomic bomb, and cloned animals. easy to say, hard to do.

  5. Hmm interesting post. I personally think Jet Li definitely gets the job done *He’s gorgeous!* However I honestly think *and when I say this my intention in not to offend anyone* But I do believe the reason why there isn’t a kiss scene is that the filmmakers did not want to upset the Asian audience, since Asian culture is very much still steeped in tradition. *Which I admire greatly* Even if we are to look at Asian men and white female relationships in films it’s still quite a rare pairing, the biggest one I can recall off the top of my head is The King and I- and didn’t it only have unresolved sexual tension also?

    I’m a black female and I tell ya all my lady friends were definitely up for a kiss scene with Aaliyah and Jet Li. I personally wish the filmmakers were bolder when creating such movies because it’s the only way to start break down all those preconceived/ taboo notions of black women and Asian men parings.

    On a lighter note and a little secret I’ll let you all in on. If any black female has Romeo must Die on their list of top films it’s definitely not for the “martial arts” it’s definitely for Jet Li! ^_^

  6. Here’s the deal. Asian guys prefer white women first because that’s what they’re around. If you’re black they’ll still look at you but you will have to have something to offer, (looks, personality, smarts, etc.).

    Black men also do the EXACT same things. Just go to destee.com and you’ll see what I’m talking about. I’ve seen the men there say wild things like black men don’t like Beyonce or black men prefer skinny girls or what ever. And don’t get me started on those sites that cater to black guys and white women. What they say is even more disgusting.

    Really, Asian guys aren’t that bad. I’m with one and I’m NOT Aaliyah. I’m a fat housewife with VERY kinky hair and a big bottom. From ALL perceptions NO ONE would want me. I don’t really care about that, because when I look in my bedroom I see a REAL Asian man in my bed, (as he’s of South Korean heritage). Some of the size 3 women may not have that, (though I’m not against size 3 women). :o)

    Anyway, don’t fret. If you really want an Asian man I can assure you despite all the hate and racism there’s one out there for you. :o)

    • @Kristina (May 16, 2009)…Right on Kristina!!!

      I love Asian men and they seem to love me. I think it’s all in the person. My ex-bf was definitely FOB (as some people would call it). He was not exposed to Black women in China but he loved him some me!!! It just depends on the person and their preference. I agree that most people are a product of their environment but it also depends on if the person has been exposed to others in your race, or curious or have a genuine interest in exploring non-Asian women. I like how you say despite the hate and racism there’s one out there for you!!! Praise God to that. I love Asian men and I know my “one” is out there!

      Check out my blog: beesmakehoney8.blogspot.com

      • Isn’t it racist to prefer and want “an Asian” man or women? Isn’t that saying they are all alike, and we are all alike? If you fall in love with a person who loves you, and they happen to be Asian, or Black, or white, or Russian that’s kool and human. But when you seek that, as if their a special kind of human over another, I find that racist. The conversation at the start of the article was
        Not directed towards Black women, it was directed at two Black women the guys weren’t turned on by. That’s not racist, but if they said all Black women, that would be racist.

  7. HI, I was reading this post doing some research and this is a very interesting post. However, as a BW I have to disagree. Although culture does play an important role in whom we are socialized to chose as mates, it does not mean that Asian men do not find BW attraction or do not establish long term, sexual, committed relationships to us. There are tons of Asian men who do! I think doing more research is in order. Many men of all races have found BW attractive for eons and Asian men are NO different. I myself LOVE Asian culture, to a large degree and their reverence for family, and community. Something that is that far off from our black communities.
    On to the posters. Being in the broadcasting industry, one knows that the media is not going to promote ANY man other than a black man, and even then the stereotypes are going to present. Asian men are kept A-sexual in movies, its a form of racism. Asian men are alway portrayed as either mystical, monsters, or hyper sexual (as in the ol school type films portraying their culture as in dynasties.) So, to have Jet Li kiss Alliyah forgive the misspelling) is unheard of. So all they do is allude to sexual tension. Asian men are not depicted as sexual creatures, the racist stereotypes on penis size and virility is another factor that perpetuates this lie.
    If you look at popular Asian males in film, NONE OF THEM ARE PORTRAYED as sexual creatures. Its sad really! The black man is depicted as OVER SEXUAL. So, it is not about Hollywood getting bold, its about someone stepping up the to plate and showing the real deal in these movies, but that is hard to do when corporate teams are FUNDING YOUR FILMS AND THEY HAVE THE LAST WORD. 😦

    Try not to let ANYONE SHAPE your mind in seeking what it is YOU desire. I seek and desire Asian men as well. Let me be clear when I say seek, I am not hunting or looking but doing tons of research and making connections, friends, so when I am ready to step out there, I will be well versed in the politics, the culture, and issues in AsianMale/Blackwomen relations. Going after what you want is a good thing, but educating yourself is something that is even better.
    Krisitina you mentioned Destee.com. I am a member on that site and I know that a lot of issues on that site that are discussed are very deep indeed. Brotha’s on that site are PAN AFRICAN, meaning they are about uplifting and supporting the black family, culture and ideals. So for them to say “no no to Beyonce” who is a product of white man america is not shocking. If one were to put on thread up about loving asian men as a black women, I wonder what would happen, the board would BLOW UP! So, the brotha’s are real but they are also polarized.
    Since you described yourself as a down home sista with a Asian male! I say, if you can get one then I know I can! lOl.

    Take care!

  8. Hmm well i just happened to come across this discussion and thought id leave a comment- firstly from what i know there was a kiss scene filmed between Aaliyah and Jet Li but they decided to cut it from the final film as (SPOILER for those who havent watched it) it would have been right at the end directly after Jet Li’s characters dad kills himself and they felt would have been inappropriate (for want of a better word) under those circumstances.
    Also i would just like to say i am half black half asian myself (asian dad) and though my asian side is not oriental asian, i have had boyfriends who are (chinese and south korean). So though it doesnt always happen, i dont neccessarily think its true that asian guys dont go for black women ^^
    I hope to see more of these kind of pairing in the future, both in films and real life =]

  9. There are Asian men that do date, fall in love with, and marry Black women. You guys need to get a grip of reality. I am not here to pick on you, but it seems as if that’s why Asian men become so bitter and lonely because they are so quick to judge others. You need to put your pride to the side, open you minds and hearts, and see that there are some Black women out there that will accept you no matter what the circumstances. I am with a beautiful South Korean man, and his family adores me because I am ME-I’m not loud, ghetto, full of drama, yes I do wear braids but it doesn’t label us as “ghetto” or “bald-headed.” Seriously, some of you guys really need to open your hearts and minds. Date who you want, but embrace ALL cultures and peoples.

  10. Wow, couldn’t help but notice asians not being attracted to black women. I’m asian, all my friends are white and all being laddish type guys will say things how that black girl is stunning, i can see she is too, but I’m not attracted to her at all. I thought it was just me. I’ve net some great black women in looks and personally wise but never found them attractive in a sexual way. how strange!

    • I think It’s okay that you in particular in some others anren’t sexually, physically attracted to black women, but as long as a lot are, and the one’s that aren’t are not putting those that are down then who’s to be upset.

  11. I honestly think it’s absolutely possible for an asian guy to fall for a black women, however it is less likely than the other races. 😦
    I’m attracted to alot of asains but none of them look my way. I hope this will change.:)

  12. I’m upset because I’m a young black girl who is attracted to Asian guys and wish that I can meet some or even date one. It’s sad that perhaps the reason to it being is of colour or their parents.

    • I feel the same way 😥

  13. Racism

  14. ugh
    i can’t believe this is 2010 and there are still as many ignorant people saying “oh she’s/he’s black and i’m asian we don’t think they’re attractive” or vice versa. who the f*** cares? how the f*** do YOU know who’s attracted to who (are you god? have you met every single asian man/woman in the world and asked them their preference?)?

    who the hell are you to speak for all asians? sounds to me like an idiot assumption and prejudice based on your own NARROW view of the world you live in. and btw who the f*** cares if it’s black, yellow, red, green, f***ing polka dot or striped–f*** you and f*** “tradition” and f*** this stupid blog AND everyone who agrees with this garbage. i’m a black female and i happen to think asian men are GORGEOUS, intelligent, strong–just as there are men in all other races and if i happen to fall in love with one and he loves me then so be it and f*** everyone who has a problem with it so THERE

  15. And ONE MORE thing for the record: i think asian women but especially the MEN need to be portrayed in a much better way than the typical kung fu/karate ass-kicking characters. THAT is totally racism. they should be given roles like everyone else not just the chinese guy who owns the restaurant

  16. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    im with ya there. Ive recently notice almost all types of entertainment do not feature asians or dont give asians a big role. Im asian and one day i want to be famous too. I wonder whats up with the fuckedd’upp directors.

  17. I went on another website, and wrote this long heart message so I’m going to pretty much say the same thing. It is 2010 nobody I mean no body not even black people thought there can be an african american preseident. If our presdient of the untied states is black regardless of him being half white then what excatly are we questioning? Not only black people voted for Obama, so therefore why is this even a disscusion. People are always going to be mean hateful, and judgemental even if rAce isn’t the issue. We know what keeps us divied, and what keeps us together, so all you can do is what is right. Being that we are human beings we know what is accpetable, and what is just palne out wrong, I understand the big cultrual difference and every one being afraid to appoarch everyone, because it’s not just the thing to do. You have to remeber this is your life, and your living for you do what makes you happy, and what is right. Me being that I’m african american I absolutly adore asian men in cultural, so I go on websites like this I countinously seek for asian freinds, guys, and I have hope, I’m not afraid of crictisim, or some one opoions who dont do anything for me. Spend your life afraid, and tryig to please some guy you dont know, but you care what some guy thinks[ media, society] now your unhappy. If I want an asian guy then I’m going to keep pursueeing, so It’s not anything to wounder about I not what I want. America supose to support diversity, and different culturals any way, so lets promote what we stand for. As for asian people tradition is great family is vauled sure, but when that keeps you from loving another culturs then it’s time to realize maybe lets not be so much.

  18. Or, maybe they’re just NOT attracted to black women! It doesn’t have anything to do with racism or jealousy.

  19. Man, I hate it when people generalize. There is 1.3 billion people in China (estimated in 2008) alone and you’re telling me, that NONE of the straight Chinese men will not date/marry a Black woman? Not even two?

    I have dated four Asian men (two S.Koreans, and two Japanese) in my life (I’m 21) all but one are natives of their Asian country, and two of them had once said to me that, before they had met me, they didn’t really find Black women attractive.
    They obviously never gave a Black woman a chance before, and once they had, those two had realize how beautiful, smart, classy, Black women are or could be.

    Yes, I know it is sort of unlikely that an Asian male would even venture out of his race, but, come on, you have NOT met all of them to generalize. There is tons of Asian men (duh) in Asia. There is Asian men in Europe, and North America. And I doubt you know each one.

    Just because your Asian, and/or your circle of friends, and/or your family don’t think Black women are attractive and worth anything, doesn’t mean it is. That is your (and/or their) opinion. Not fact.

    And of course, yes, some just don’t think Black women are attractive, ok. I just hate when those ones give out their assumptions of Asian men just because THEY don’t.
    And Black women need to quit it with the questions “Do Asian men like Black women?”. Find out for yourself, and don’t depend on anyones opinion on the matter, especially on the internet.

  20. well said aimee that shut everyone up.

    • Asian men are just like all other men!!
      They have thier own personal likes and dislikes and unless you have interview the entire population in the whole world noone can say” asian men do not find black women attrative”. i am attrative to all kind of men and i never dated outside my race and I do not think i ever will, however, I have found many men of many different races very attrative!!! asian men have their own style and i admire that about them and if they choose not to date outside
      their race well hey it is their choose!!! who should give a damn!!!!! nothing should be said about it!! However,my dear sexy,”asian men” please!!!! out of respect be careful about the negative comment u make about black women not being attrative!!! even if you do not choose to date black women you still need to show proper respect !! sincerely jan a “secure black women”!!

  21. Isnt this website purely for trolling? It’s just a laugh. People like you guys take this wayyyy to seriously. Lighten up.

    • this is about as light as i get take it or leave it

  22. I guess its more about Asian men being used to petite small framed women. Since most Asian males arent that well hung, tall, and broad shouldered,its natural that they will find women who are more feminine, small, to be more attractive and who makes them feel alpha. Also asian and white women have delicate feminine facial features, whereas black women,who although have the best bodies, do lack a little bit of femininty as far as their looks are concerned. Also majority of black women are used to black men,who are one of the most masculine of all races,hence asian men appear feminine and unattractive them.

    • Met some white women who were deep-south masculine in the face and shaped like NFL linebackers, so go back to the think tank on that one!

  23. I was curious if you ever considered changing the page layout of your blog?
    Its very well written; I love what youve got to say. But maybe you could a
    little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better.
    Youve got an awful lot of text for only having 1 or two pictures.
    Maybe you could space it out better?

  24. I don’t know the age group here but it’s sad that so many are still very marginalized in thinking. These comments and generalizations about the lack of “femininity” of black women are hilarious. There are plenty of black women who are the poster children for femininity and strength. Honor, loyalty and devotion, in fact, we’ve got the market cornered on supporting and being true to the RIGHT MAN. All of this nonsense about Asian men being too small and feminine is hilarious, I’ve never looked at it in a such a way, I looked at it purely from a genetic view. I’ve always found it sexy and attractive. Their masculinity is on a different vibration. Not macho at all. But there is strength, determination, character and honor. I can dig all of that.

    Asian people primarily believe the lies that the American TV tells them about black people in general and unless they are in the mix with black folk they really don’t have a clue. There are plenty of Asian men who date and desire black women!! There are black women who desire Asian men. There are Asian men who want to be with black women, simple as that. Not every single person of either race is going to be attracted to “other”, I believe it’s those who are not afraid to step of the “box” that are willing to see the world as a global opportunity and not allow someone else’s standards to cloud their judgement and life.

    In 2013 I am HEARING that their are a lot of Asian men and women who are dismissing a lot of their rigid traditions. These traditions were created by their elders for a reason, I won’t go into them here, each culture is different than the next but the underlying theory is race purity, not any longer with more and more Asian women choosing white men as husbands, Asian men are being left to make different choices.

    In 2013 I say it’s time to make a stand. If you love black women then fine, if you don’t that is fine too! I am not going to take it personally if you don’t, there are too many “other” men who will benefit from a black woman’s love who DO.

    • Hahaha but true

  25. Look people everyone likes what they. It’s wrong to say Asian men are more into small petite women that are Asian. It’s wrong to say all Asian women have a small petite frame too. I’m black I just find Asian men attractive, and Asian men find Black women attractive too. It’s a fact since all posisbilities exsist. Every possibility that can happen and exsists, has either happened, or will happen. What is wrong with all you stupid dumbfucks thinking Asians only love White, and Asian Girls? Why speciffically White girls anyway? You think they’re around White girls more than any other race excluding Asian girls. They love whatever they find attractive. Some find Latinos and Hispanics attractive too. I’ve even seen some of a movie called Love Whores with a make out session I guess you could say with a Black girl and Asian guy. All you dumbfucks who agree with shit need meet every Asian man, or ask God and hope for an answer. When you meet every Asian man, or become God, then we can talk. Since you can’t become God, then I guess you’ll just have to somehow meet every Asian man. But since that’s unlikely to happen, rather, near impossible, shut the fuck up fuckass.

    • well said!!!! hats off too good old wisdom!!!

  26. Okay, look, i personally think asians are racist, NO OFFENCE! But if i find a nice, good looking asian guy i would probably be attracted to him. But its pretty much because asians are racist.
    ( from the eyes of a white girl, yes because this happened to me too)

  27. Whʏ people still make use of to read news papers when in this technological glߋbe the whole thing is
    available on web?

  28. Excellent blog post. I certainly appreciate this website.
    Stick with it!

  29. Asians generally hate ALL black people!!!!

  30. Wow this was super racist

  31. Have you ever considered thst asian males dont find black women attractive because of ther….wait for it… anti-blackness….

    You go out of your way to list the actual reason

    • Wow, I didn’t realise how old this post was. I can’t believe people still comment on it. I commented on thos 5-7 years ago when I 12 or 13, I’m almost 19 😨…

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