10) Show off European boyfriends

April 24, 2008 at 7:10 pm | Posted in Desires | 7 Comments

Asian girls will try to obtain the wealthiest and most attractive mates that are willing to commit to them for the long-term. Race, however, is a significant factor that can have a larger effect on a mate’s attractiveness that is greater than the effects of wealth and social status.

Some races are preferred over others, and Asian women will strive mightily to elevate their racial dating level. Even within the Caucasian category there are preferences, and non-Americans are preferred over Americans. The highest level is a foreign-born European with an accent. Asian girls will try to obtain these prize catches by vacationing or studying abroad in Spain, Italy, or France. Dating a European is considered to be a once in a lifetime opportunity by Asian girls. After the relationship is over, many hours will be spent dreaming about the blissful summer with Pierre in Paris, talking walks along the Seine.

The opposite of a European boyfriend is a foreign-born Asian. The reaction of Asian girls when presented with this possibility is the same reaction people have when considering eating leftover food out of a trash can. An Asian girl relegated to dating on this level is either in a life-threatening situation or in an arranged marriage.

Extremely advanced Asians are able to date Black men, and the highest achievement within this category is dating an Ivy League educated Black man working on Wall Street, like Kwame Jackson. Such catches are considered to be “diamonds in the rough”, and once an Asian accomplishes this there are no other goals remaining in life worth working for.

To gain the respect and friendship of an Asian girl that is dating a European or Black man, ask her what her parents think of the relationship. If her parents approve, she can show how liberal and Americanized her family is. If this is the case, say how modern her parents are and that your cousin is dating a South African that loves Bulgogi. If her parents do not approve, she can show how strong and independent she is by dating him against her wishes. Either way, she can show off her best qualities while asserting her superiority to the other Asian girls.

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8) Escape to the Motherland

April 18, 2008 at 6:54 pm | Posted in Desires | 7 Comments

When Asians become disappointed and frustrated with their life in the United States, they start planning to move to their ancestral country. Commonly stated reasons to move are to get back in touch with their culture, relearn the language, take advantage of better work opportunities, or to start a business. These reasons however, are hiding the true motivation to move from their homeland – the inability to obtain the affections of Asian girls that meet their standards at home, and the Elysian bars, clubs, and cafes filled with attractive local girls.

An Asian expatriate’s desirability rises significantly in Asia as compared to the original level of attractiveness in the States. The increase in attractiveness is comprised of two effects, one absolute and one relative. The absolute effect comes from the doubling in purchasing power given the same nominal salary, and the potential to give a highly coveted spousal visa to a local woman who desires to move to the U.S. The relative effect comes from being taller, dressing better, and having nicer skin than the local males. The rough rule is that an Asian ranked 3.5 in the U.S. will improve to a 7.5 in China, with the same increase in average attractiveness of his dating pool.

It may appear that these Asians are giving up on the dating scene in the United States, but they are just taking advantage of the differential in well-being between countries. Non-Asians also frustrated with their experiences at home will also move to Asia, Brazil, or Eastern Europe for the same reasons. When meeting one of these future expatriates, never ask him about the real reason why he moved, because you will bring up painful memories of the last girl that rejected him. Instead, always say how much their accent will improve and be amazed at the money they will save living over there. In return, they will let you stay at their apartment for free when visiting them and also introduce you to girls much more attractive than you are used to.

N.B. Shortly after American Idol, William Hung was spotted in Hong Kong signing autographs at the Mandarin Hotel before climbing into a limousine with Maggie Q.

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